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22 settembre 让我们沉醉才明白人都会在最脆弱的时候想要停靠在一个安静的地方。
就像WW说的，累了，就不想说话。 那应该也是一种安静吧。是自己给自己勉强建造的安静。
是不是我一味的沉默都是因为自己内心的嘈杂呢？
累的时候我会在哪找到属于我的安定？
突然很想念父亲的两撇胡子。总是倔强的置放在那张严肃的脸上。
他应该是我的安定。
但也是那张严肃的脸，让我觉得，
可能累了伤了，自己偷偷好起来，
才是种安稳的坚强，才能换一份舒服的塌实。。 faded away..Something slipped away, far far away, without notice, without trace..
then i say to myself that, right, time to be simple and peaceful.. but inside i know i m skipping. bleeding. crying..
then what? exhausting the air inside and outside my heart, what's left? wondering. recalling. choking.
whoelse knows you are dying of the pain on your left knee? whoelse knows you are running out of your last drop of courage? whoelse wants to know?
i always pursue things that i disturbed in others' life and thus get punished for. like the simpleness and peace...sigh.. but i didnt do it on purpose. or to be fair, i ve already get punished, then i restart being eligible like anyone else, even though they were hurt, for pursuing those particular little rat ass, cant i?
high self-esteem, i thought i can overcome everything, adopt to any situation. and when it turns out that i was wrong, i swallow, and say i m okie, smiling..^^.. what a terrible person that does such a cruel thing to himselves, shutin up when they actually wanna shout!!
sorry for those that are not happy. what i can help? manage my business, and dont bother you guys saying sorry for me.
what really matters if you keep your eyes straight? make sure sun comes out regularly.
what really troubles if you keep your brain filtrated? be clear about the date that assighment coming due.
YEAH!! you are ABSO-fucking-LUTELY right!!
THEN, what else you want for your 22nd? 23rd? 28th? being loved by beloveds? how many r there? how much you want from each of them? and what is called being loved? is that being taken care of or being given enough freedom? and what abt freedom when u wanna be embraced? taken care of when u wanna personal space?
OH GOSH. let me tell u what's love, that's childies bullshiting without realizing..
fading away, i have my soul lighten... then thinking flies..
i m listening to my favourite pop song. but now it's like sharp, breaking up the air around me..how do i know the air's broken? i felt it..
i let go everything in the past. i simplify everything in the present. i look forward to everything out there waiting.
i SHOULDNT want anything back if i decided to give up. i SHOULDNT give up if i decided it is what i want..
HOW S THAT?
stay up all night doing nothing but bullshiting, BUT AT LEAST, i know life will be tougher, but also SIMPLE AND PEACEFUL.. |
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